Dating Sites& Good Works

Haha. But seriously.

I have come to find that I really enjoy blogging. It has been an awesome release and I have enjoyed doing it. I am not sure who reads my posts but it really isn't about that. This is for me. 

To start off I want to talk about: LDS dating sites...

Oh, boy! I am sure some of you are thrilled to hear about this one...haha. The reason why I brought this subject up is because I bounce back and forth on this subject. I hope with writing a little about it I can remember why I have always stopped trying the online thing. To be honest I find the online dating scene to be a little freaky. I have attempted to meet guys through dating sites and I have indeed connected with a lot of guys. Sadly, the majority of them have been disappointments. I have no idea why some of the guys are on an LDS dating site but don't really seem like they want to live the LDS standards. It is beyond me. If you choose to put yourself on a dating site that is especially for a specific religion it would only make sense that your values would be aligned with that religion. However, I have found out that this is not the case and luckily these guys are easy to spot and the Spirit has been a great guide to who has good intentions and who doesn't.

However, I have met a handful of guys that I have remained in contact with in one form or another. Some I have gone on dates with and others I have never met. I actually ran into one randomly on campus my first semester down here and that was a crazy! Mostly, I have just gotten to know a few guys that have great qualities but nothing has ever felt 100% right for me to pursue and that is okay. 

I think another reason why I have had a difficult time with dating sites is simply because of what my *Patriarchal Blessings says. Without going into detail it simply talks about how I will meet "my prince (perfect word for who I envision) in doing good works". This has always stuck in my mind. The more I think about it the more I feel like maybe "good works" isn't sifting through profiles on an internet site. 

This has sent me seeking an answer to the question: What are the "good works" that will lead me to my Prince? The place I decided to start looking is on another LDS site... lds.org to be exact. I figured this would be the best place to get an idea of what good works are. 

The first thing that caught my eye was under the *Personal Progress section. I don't know why it didn't cross my mind to look there first but either way I found the perfect resource. While reading through the Personal Progress booklet I felt inspired to complete the values required. Why not, right? So I will work on those and get back to you on what I learn. For now I will just cover what it says about good works. The scripture quoted is 3 Nephi 12:16 it reads:

"Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven." 

Service = Good Works. 

This is really best way that I can describe it. Charity is directly linked with doing good works. One of the best ways I can think of doing good works is through temple service. But really everything that is done with the right spirit and for a good purpose can be considered a work that is righteous and good. Therefore, if I am always making sure that I am keeping the Spirit of the Lord with me I can do good works and that is what will lead me to my Eternal Companion. Sounds easy enough, right? ;) I will get right on that...

Lastly, I just want to tell you about a book that I picked up at the bookstore today. I was walking through the bookstore after changing my major (I will need a whole new post for that one, maybe even tomorrow) when I spotted a book titled "Hope After Divorce". Now, lets be clear on this, I usually would NEVER give this book a second glance but for some reason I felt inspired to grab it. Maybe it was the pretty flower on the cover that caught my eye but I decided to give it a try. This book is a collections of essays from women who have found hope through the Atonement of Christ after going through a divorce (or several). I have cried myself through a few essays. Who knew so many women have felt the emotions I have? Normally, I would pick up a book like this because I have such a disconnect with my divorce. It feels so long ago, almost like it was another lifetime. The more I read these essays the more I felt that I had some more to learn from my divorce and the more I felt compelled to start writing my own experiences down. Maybe one day they can be of help to someone else going through a divorce. I think that I will challenge myself to do that. I rarely speak of my divorce to people other than family or close friends because of how personal in nature it is but I think this would be a good way to tell the story of how I got through it...not what lead up to the divorce or the details of it but rather how I have healed, grown and then thrived after such a difficult trial. 

I think that is it. I have given myself some homework to do. First, complete the requirements for Personal Progress virtue "Good Works", and second, work on writing my "divorce survival story". Should be interesting and I will keep you posted, whoever you are! =)

 Ps. Remembered why online dating isn't my thing.

For those that might not know: 

*A Patriarchal Blessing is a special blessing given to worthy members of the Church to be used as a guide in their personal life. Each one is unique and has promises that can be fulfilled by being faithful to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

*A Personal Progress is a booklet that Young Women (12-18) in the Church complete in order to receive their Young Women medallion). This is a great way for young women to learn about select values and find out more about themselves!

How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream?

 It's another sleepless night and I have nothing else to do but blog! Yay, that's two blog posts in one week? I am on a roll...

I just finished re-reading a talk titled "How Can I become the Woman of Whom I Dream?". It was given the beloved President Gordon B. Hinckley. President Hinckley is one of my favorite prophets. Oh, how I miss him. His words are always so powerful and speak right to the soul. I especially loved this message to young women and how we can become our very best. This talk gave me a little pick me up and some things to ponder. I have collected a few quotes from his talk that I feel are really important.

President Hinckley stressed moral cleanliness. More and more it seems like this isn't as important in the world as it should be. Don't people understand the lasting scars from promiscuity? Being virtuous isn't always easy but it certainly always worth it, "for immorality will blight your life and leave a scar that will never entirely leave you". 

"You have within you instincts, powerful and terribly persuasive, urging you at times to let go and experience a little fling. You must not do it. You cannot do it. You are daughters of God with tremendous potential. He has great expectations concerning you, as do others. You cannot let down for a minute. You cannot give in to an impulse. There must be discipline, strong and unbending. Flee from temptation, as Joseph fled from the wiles of Potiphar’s wife." 

If there is something that I have learned from the last 10 years or so of my life it is that sometimes we just have to flee. Temptation is very real and sometimes the best way to avoid it is to run from it. Get as far away from temptation as we possibly can. Sometimes it can be difficult but the Lord is ALWAYS with us and will guide us and tell us where we need to be.

"There is nothing in all this world as magnificent as virtue. It glows without tarnish. It is precious and beautiful. It is above price. It cannot be bought or sold. It is the fruit of self-mastery." 

This was one of my favorite quotes from his talk. Virtue cannot be bought or sold. How true is that? Self-mastery is the key to so many things in our life and being a virtuous woman is something that can bring great blessings.

"In this day and time, a girl needs an education. She needs the means and skills by which to earn a living should she find herself in a situation where it becomes necessary to do so." 

Get an education! I feel very strongly about this. Education is important. You really don't know what situation you might be in when you are the one that has to provide for your family, like being a single mom ;). I remember when I felt the need to go back to school. It is a constant worry to think about being the "bread winner" and all the responsibilities that I carry alone. There is one thing that I have always tried to stay true to and that is doing what I love. A career is important and I believe that doing what you love will make all the difference in your life.

And my most favorite quote from this talk: 

"You can be excellent in every way. You can be first class. There is no need for you to be a scrub. Respect yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you. Particularly, pay no attention to what some boy might say to demean you. He is no better than you. In fact, he has already belittled himself by his actions. Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities, and forever and always be loyal to the Church." 

Oh, I always need a good reminder not to listen to guys that think they have a right to demean a girl. They are never right, ever. I wish I could make so many young girls understand this. I know I needed to understand it when I was younger.

And lastly, 

 "You are creatures of divinity; you are daughters of the Almighty. Limitless is your potential. Magnificent is your future, if you will take control of it. Do not let your lives drift in a fruitless and worthless manner."

I am so thankful that I took the time to read this talk again. The message is powerful each time that I read it and it makes me think about the woman that I dream of being. Mostly, I dream of being successful in all that I do. In my church callings and in my career. I dream of being a good mother and teach my children of the importance of the Gospel and the blessings that come when one chooses to be faithful. I dream to one day be a wife, an equal, and a best friend to a loving man who honors his Priesthood. I dream of returning to my Heavenly Father and being able to say that I remained faithful. I have so many dreams and I know that they can be achieved with the help of my Heavenly Father and the strength that comes when we believe and choose to pattern our life after his son, Jesus Christ. I hope that each of us can live up to our potential. Especially, as women. We have a divine calling here on this earth. May we always be a positive influence on the world and especially in our own homes. 

Here is a link to the talk: 

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/05/how-can-i-become-the-woman-of-whom-i-dream 

Labels&Updates

"Hey girl" is hilarious. This is for the moms

Here I am at 1am in the morning writing because I simply cannot sleep. There has been a lot on my mind and I really haven't blogged in a while. There is a lot I want to say but mostly I want to start out by writing about labels. Labels can drive me crazy...I don't think that you can or should define a person by a single phrase or word. One that I hear all the time about myself is "single mom". I have even included it on my blog. I have simply become used to being called a "single mom" and that is fine, I am indeed a mom that is single. But that really doesn't define who I am. I am so many other things. I am a hair stylist, a daughter, a best friend, a creator, an artist, a child of God, a woman, a giver, a homemaker, and much much more. I am many things. I guess it just simply gets to me when it comes to "the guy situation". And oh how I love this topic, not. Dating as a "single mother" is so difficult. It is even down right unpleasant at times but it is something that I have to do in order to find my Eternal Companion. If only God would just hit him on the head with a rock (maybe just a stick a rock might do some damage) and send him in my direction because clearly my Prince Charming has gotten a little lost. I have heard countless times that a guy has lost interest simply because of my "situation" and I can understand that to a degree. I mean come on I am not looking for an average Joe. I am looking for someone who can jump right into helping me take care of the most precious little boy (the very thought of that brings my eyes to tears). I am looking for someone who is extraordinary and understands what it takes to step in and help someone raise their greatest gift from Heavenly Father. Someone who can love Davian as their own and be a supporter, a friend, a comforter, an equal and much more to me. This is not an easy task and I understand that...but I just hope that out there are the guys who don't look at that label of "single mom" as a bad thing. Being a single mom has made me who I am today. I am strong because of this responsibility. I am who I am today because of the trials and blessings that come with raising a child without that constant support of a companion. I am single mom and I am proud of that. This is what the Lord had planned for me and I know some where down this road I will be able to be a comfort to another single mom who is struggling or feeling like there isn't anybody who quite understands how this loneliness feels. I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, I might question that more than most on a rough day, but deep down I know how true that is. I am surviving and I dare say that I am doing well. I have so many blessings in my life right now and I know that my Heavenly Father has a special plan out there for me. He LOVES me. He is ALWAYS there for me to go to during this difficult time in my life. And that I can truly be thankful. I am thankful for the blessing of being a "single mom". I used to hate being called a "single mom" but it has become a badge that I wear with honor, as long as people realize that I am not just that but so much more.

That was a good little rant if I do say so myself. Now, it is time for some updates!

We like to go on dates =)

Davian: Davian is such a good boy. He has really tried hard to do the things that I ask and I am thankful that some of what I am teaching is sticking! We have been talking about how to be a gentlemen and how we are suppose to treat other people, especially girls. I WILL raise a man that knows how to treat a woman with respect. That has really become one of my main missions... haha. So, Davian is now opening my door. It may seem a little interesting to have a 4 years old be opening his mom's door but we are starting young! We are teaching this boy how to be a good man. He is so darn cute when he opens my door. It has really become a treat. Another thing we talk about is how every girl is pretty. He has even started letting the ladies know that they are pretty. Mostly, he tells me every single day that I am "pretty" and his "most favorite girl in the whole wide world universe" (pretty amazing, I know). This little guy just knows how to light up my day and melt my heart.

Dad&Davian

Davian has been doing well in school. We have some hiccups upon occasion. I think this comes especially from being an only child that doesn't have to share his stuff. He has been learning how to do this better and we haven't gotten any bad reports from school lately. He does have some AMAZING teachers though and that brings me comfort as I drop him of each day.

Davian's dad was able to visit this last weekend. It was pretty special for Davian. It had been about a year since his last visit and Davian was so happy to see his dad. He wanted dad to do everything with him. He wanted Dad to sit by him, talk to him, love him, play with him, and listen to him. I am thankful that the visit went well and Davian was able to make some memories with is dad!

Tami's Salon

Celebrating my new job at Wingers

Me: Well, what can I say? I have been a busy lady lately. I started a new job about two months ago and it has been great to be working in a salon again. I work at a salon in Rexburg named Tami's Salon. Tami Hymas is the owner and she is an amazing hair stylist herself. She is a platform artist for Onesta, which is really one of the highest honors as a hairstylist. In fact, being a platform artist is kind of the dream of a lot of hair stylist. If you don't know what a plat form artist is I will explain it for you! A Platform Artist is a Hairstylist who works primarily for trade shows and industry related shows. Basically those people who do seminars, or are up on the "platform" (hence why they're called that) teaching new tricks of the trade. I am so thankful to be working at this salon and from what I hear it is really the best fit for me in Rexburg! The thing I love the most is the atmosphere. Typically when you get a ton of girls working together there can be a lot of drama! This really isn't the case at Tami's. The girls that I work with are all wonderful and have really helped me feel at home in the salon. I was so nervous from going from Bridge Street where it was just me and Karmin (who is basically a sister and mentor to me) to a larger group of girls. I think what helps this salon be drama free is that we are all faithful members of the Church and we have good standards. We do our best to be our best. I have really loved that. I have always enjoyed our weekly education. Every Tuesday we have a required education class for an hour. This is great! I crave to learn new things and while some of the education is familiar I always have a new insight on even the most basic things. I think that education is a big key on being successful and growing and I have the opportunity to do that at Tami's. I don't know how long I will be in Rexburg or at the salon but I have no intentions on leaving anytime soon =)

Emma Roth my beautiful model

School: I am "off track" this semester at BYUI. For those of you who don't know, BYUI runs on a three track system. You are assigned two tracks out of the three and my track is the Fall/Winter. I will have had a total of five months off, which is great! I have decided to pursue my AA degree and not go any further at this point. I am sure my parents are sick of hearing the millions of plans I have in my head on any given day... I just feel like this is the best option for be and I have really learned that I love doing hair. I missed it when I was away for that short time and it really makes me feel good. In fact, I have found a new passion of mine: Makeup. I have always loved trying new makeup on myself and exploring different tricks of application. I since found the desire to become more of a makeup artist and do bridal or photo shoot makeup! This all started when that salon did a photo shoot (which we do nearly every month). The theme was Avant Garde which is basically doing something out of the box, unorthodox, daring or radical. I choose to do a doll theme and had so much fun putting it all together and seeing my ideas come to life. I had an amazing model, Emma Roth, to help me out and she did AMAZING! Since I have discovered this passion I have decided that I want more education in the makeup industry. I hope to attend a makeup artist program through Avalon (http://www.avalon.edu/makeup-artistry/) in Layton, Utah for two weeks. Here I can expand my knowledge and grow as a makeup artist. Not to mention it is a MAC school. And for anyone who knows makeup they know that MAC is the leader of professional makeup. This would be an awesome opportunity. I simply need to save so I can attend =) So, there you go... My next adventure in my crazy life! 

At one of my dates

Dating: Okay, I don't think I have really ever talked much about dating but why not? I know so many of you are rooting for me and want me to end up happy so I might as well let you know how it is going. Obviously, it's not going that great because I don't have a boyfriend but oh well! I have had a lot more dates lately though. It has been great. I am doing what I have been wanting to do and should have done when I was younger... I am testing the waters. I am seeing what is out there. Sometimes it can be really discouraging but mostly it is fun to get out and do something for a few hours! I have been out to dinner, played games, hit golf balls, bowling, and shooting within the last few months and I have really enjoyed and learned more about myself and what I want. Mostly, I have gotten the experience that I have been practically begging Heavenly Father to give me! 

Cut my hair earlier this summer 

Well, I think that pretty much sums it up! Hopefully, I can be more diligent with my blogging but lets be honest, I doubt that will happen ;) 

Oh btw, there was a really great talk that was written just for me last Conference. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and something that I read often to bring comfort. Here is the link if you want to check it out: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/faith-fortitude-fulfillment-a-message-to-single-parents?lang=eng&query=single+mom